Fortunes

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and
it holds the universe together ...
-- Carl Zwanzig

The Fortune.Ninja is...

An all-knowing, all-seeing oracular deity that will deign to tell you what the future holds.
A total fraud based on a cryptographically insecure random number generator
A fun side project to experiment with different messaging APIs.
An API for getting fortunes on your website or in your app!
Free! With full source code available!
Hopefully safe for work, but not edited by me.

There are lots of sources you can try:

Welcome!